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Many people don't know just where they fit in the Christian world. Should I be a Baptist, a Lutheran, a Roman Catholic? How can I tell? Well, look no further. I've hit upon a way to help you find the church you truly belong to by making dating profiles for various denominations. I hope this makes your ultimate choice easier.
1. Southern Baptist
"I love pop music, cheesy t-shirts, and gimmicky trinkets. I don’t like drinking, smoking, or Harry Potter. But I also have an intellectual side. I really wish my life were more exciting like a disaster movie, and if my version of the end-times is true, it will be."
2. Non-Denominational
5. Pentecostal/Charismatic
"I’m wild and spontaneous. Don’t expect to find me in the library with Presbyterian; rational thought is so boring! Dating me is like dating Bjork; it’s crazy and fun, although you won’t be able to understand what I’m saying half the time. "
6. Lutheran
"I’m very down to earth and traditional. I believe in three sacraments: Baptism, the Lord’s Supper, and Coffee. I love singing, potlucks, and Garrison Keillor. And my brother Olaf says I make some mean blood sausages. Don’t expect me to do anything to ever to draw attention to myself."
7. Greek Orthodox
"I am a mystery. I wear lots of perfume, like gaudy pictures, and haven’t changed a bit for the last 20 years. That’s right, I act exactly the same as I did when I was 5 years old! Also, RC is such a poser! Baklava!"
8. Roman Catholic
"I’m more rationalistic than GO. I also wear lots of perfume, but have slightly better aesthetic taste. (Well, at least I used to. Lately I’ve been all about guitars and folk music.) I also haven’t changed for 20 years, but the way I talk about myself has changed. Also, GO is such a poser! "
9. Anglican
"Sometimes I really want to be like RC, and sometimes I want to be like Presbyterian. I just can’t decide who I am. I like to hear singing at church, but I hate to sing. Though I like dressing up, on the inside I’m pretty casual. I love Barbara Pym, floral prints, and tea. Nice tepid tea."
"I love pop music, cheesy t-shirts, and gimmicky trinkets. I don’t like drinking, smoking, or Harry Potter. But I also have an intellectual side. I really wish my life were more exciting like a disaster movie, and if my version of the end-times is true, it will be."2. Non-Denominational
"I’m pretty much just like Baptist, but I have a tattoo and a studded bracelet. And I love donuts and coffee."
3. Presbyterian
"I’m the smart, nerdy chick. Many guys tell me I'm cute, but I know what they’re thinking because I believe in total depravity. Also I have incredibly demanding standards and often have a bad temper. You’d better know the right things to say around me."
4. Methodist
5. Pentecostal/Charismatic
"I’m wild and spontaneous. Don’t expect to find me in the library with Presbyterian; rational thought is so boring! Dating me is like dating Bjork; it’s crazy and fun, although you won’t be able to understand what I’m saying half the time. "6. Lutheran
"I’m very down to earth and traditional. I believe in three sacraments: Baptism, the Lord’s Supper, and Coffee. I love singing, potlucks, and Garrison Keillor. And my brother Olaf says I make some mean blood sausages. Don’t expect me to do anything to ever to draw attention to myself."7. Greek Orthodox
"I am a mystery. I wear lots of perfume, like gaudy pictures, and haven’t changed a bit for the last 20 years. That’s right, I act exactly the same as I did when I was 5 years old! Also, RC is such a poser! Baklava!"8. Roman Catholic
"I’m more rationalistic than GO. I also wear lots of perfume, but have slightly better aesthetic taste. (Well, at least I used to. Lately I’ve been all about guitars and folk music.) I also haven’t changed for 20 years, but the way I talk about myself has changed. Also, GO is such a poser! "9. Anglican
"Sometimes I really want to be like RC, and sometimes I want to be like Presbyterian. I just can’t decide who I am. I like to hear singing at church, but I hate to sing. Though I like dressing up, on the inside I’m pretty casual. I love Barbara Pym, floral prints, and tea. Nice tepid tea."
Comments
Also I watched your cryptic video. You're strange. XD