Thisby Thestoop and the Black Mountain

It’s fair to say that I read a good number of books children’s books. Having kids of my own, I like to pilfer their shelves from time to time. In our house, we like to stock “the classics” as a sort of quality guarantee. Since children’s books became a genre there have been writers who have tried to cash in on the children’s market as a way to make a quick buck with little effort. Reading “the classics” means that you get the best books from every era without having to wade through the formulaic twaddle, most of which has mercifully been forgotten over the years.
It’s a different story with modern children’s books. Picking up a new children’s book means taking a chance on wasting your time, and the modern children’s book publishing machine loves tried and true formulas. After the success of Harry Potter we got books about schools for magical/mythological/specially talented kids who are sorted into groups based on their personalities. After The Hunger Games took off, we’ve have had m…

Recipe for the Qur'an

Recipe for Qur’an

1 cup Old Testament (OT)
3 cups Moralizing
2 cups Feelings of Persecution
2 cups Delusions of Grandeur
3 tbsp Good Old-Fashioned Crazy

1. Separate narrative, poetry, and all other literary value from OT. Beat what is left in a mixing bowl until the stories are all mixed up and confused.

2. Whisk in Moralizing. Stir until smooth.

3. Mix in Feelings of Persecution and Delusions of Grandeur

4. Let sit in the hot desert near Medina for two years.

5. Sprinkle with Crazy and serve hot.

* Note: It is important to follow the recipe precisely. The exact same ingredients allowed to mix about in New York will produce the Book of Mormon.


Dale Melchin said…
Recipe for Protestantism:

Split historic church in to East and West Portions 1054... allow to Set for 400 years smacking Western Part against eastern part until the Eastern Part gets tore up by a mean and vicious Karabash.

With the Western Half mix in equal parts Monarchy, political ambition, human rights violations and inquisition. Mix with water and boil for 400 years... not this must be done while you are beating the Eastern Half with the Western half and the Karabash is trying to tear up the Eastern half or it won't work.

Finally after Western Half has boiled, split into Equal Parts Calvin, Luther, Zwingli, Menno and remove Monarchy but increase mixture of political ambition, and democracy, entitlement and Cathlophiba.

Rick said…
Recipe for Eastern Orthodoxy:

1. Begin with Church Fathers just like Western Church.

2. Due to different cultural and historical circumstances, develop down a different path from the Western Church.

3. Continue for 2000 years.

4. At the end of the 2000 years assert that only the Western Church has developed and likewise assert that the Eastern Church has not developed and is, on the contrary, exactly the same as it was during the time of the apostles.