07 April 2010

Presbyterian Arguments

Presbyterian 1: I believe that we are saved by grace alone.
Presbyterian 2: So do I.
Presbyterian 1: But, of course, in addition to meaning "God's favor toward sinners," grace can also mean "ease or suppleness of movement," in which case, we are not saved by that kind of grace.
Presbyterian 2: Wait, so you deny salvation by GRACE ALONE?!
Presbyterian 1: No, I affirm salvation by grace alone according to one definition, but also affirm that there is another kind of grace possessed by ballerinas and acrobats, and that kind of grace does not save us.
Presbyterian 2: Aha! I see. You're talking out of both sides of your mouth! Vile Heretic! Repent of your lies and your heresy!
Presbyterian 1: But all I'm saying is that words can have more than one meaning. We actually agree that we are saved by God's favor alone. I'm only saying that the grace that means "ease or suppleness of movement" does not save us. For that matter, the grace that means "a prayer said before dinner" doesn't save us either.
Presbyterian 2: Even if this is true, it will confuse the flock and cause much dissension in the body of Christ. Everyone knows that the laity is a mass of blithering idiots who cannot possibly understand the way the English language works.
Presbyterian 1: But isn't it our job to teach them?
Presbyterian 2: I've had enough of this "dialogue". If you won't recant your heretical beliefs, then there's nothing more to be done! Where's my Judicial Committee?!
Presbyterian 1: ???


Chris said...

"Saved...?" By whom, from what and when?

Anonymous said...

You should post this to our Theological Octagon.